We Made It…

Here we are, just over three weeks in to our new life in Michigan. Boy howdy is time just flying by. I cannot believe it’s been this long. While we’ve only been in the house for two weeks, we spent about a week hotel living. It’s been quite the adventure so far. Let’s start from the beginning.

July 27th our house closed. Our home was no longer ours, our belongings were on a truck to Michigan, our cars were loaded on another truck on their way to Michigan and we were in a rental car in our driveway, house keys locked inside. No turning back now. We were heading down to SF, with a suitcase for each of us, for a few days before our flight out, for good. We stopped by Nick’s grandparents house to say our good-byes and have a nice home-cooked meal before we ventured the rest of the way to SF to stay with my family for a few days. Over the next few days, we were able to get together with friends at the park, who were also in town, see some family friends, ventured to Union Square and have the best dinner cooked by Obaasan. It was great seeing everyone before we ventured off.

July 30th we headed to SFO to hop on our plane. We’ve flown with AJ before, however not for more than 1.5 hours. The 4.5 hour flight was quite the doozy. We decided traveling all together would be better for us than to travel separate; meaning, Nick would go first then AJ and I would follow. Not sure what would have been the best plan. AJ stayed awake and as active as ever on our flight, until the last hour when he finally fell asleep. He was not super destructive, just overly active. Note to self, always try a red-eye flight with a toddler; but, what if he wouldn’t sleep on that either! EEEK! Once we landed and got all of our luggage situated, it was off to the hotel. We spent a week in a regular hotel room. It happened to be the same week as the Jr. Olympics here and there were literally no hotels available, so we were not only staying in a hotel style room, we were about thirty minutes from our rental house. We made the best of it and enjoyed running the halls of the hotel and playing in the parking lot. Luckily, for AJ, there was a giant excavator across the street that he insisted on visiting every day. By the end of the week, we were all adjusting to the three-hour time difference and ready for our belongings. And, I was ready to stop eating every single meal from a restaurant! I couldn’t wait to have a meal we actually made.

August 3rd, we have our belongings back and our cars! Once our things arrived, it was time to unpack. I insisted we only take out the necessities because by summer next year, we will have purchased something and will need to move again, and it will be on us to get that done ourselves this time. Can I just say how nice it was to have packers and movers!! Thanks to the hubbies company for hooking that up! It took about a week to go through all of the boxes and figure out what we need and don’t need for the time being. By the end of that, we started to feel settled. Now, during that time, it seemed this rental was falling apart at the seams, or should I say beams!

Every day we were finding something didn’t work in this rental house. We discovered there were bats living in the attic, the back patio was a tripping hazard for us and especially AJ, the dryer was old and the previous tennants didn’t take care of it so that fell apart, ruined some brand new sheets we bought, then eventually just stopped working all together. We weren’t able to do laundry for three weeks. Things were not looking good around here and I wasn’t sure how we were supposed to last until the end of June with everything going so wrong. All I could think was this wasn’t a house, it was a trash bag that I wanted to throw out. Luckily for us, the owners were apologetic and have since been doing their best to get everything in working order. Turns out the previous tennants just didn’t take care of anything, nor did they ever mention that anything was going wrong. While the owners are doing their part, I still cannot wait to own again.

In between getting things fixed around here, I’ve been trying to get AJ out and socialized in our new town (literally we live in what is called a Township). We have ventured to the Childrens Hands on Museum, the park, a new church, where we finally leave him in the kids room (for about 30 minutes before they call us to come get him), a library and as of today we went to meet up with a mom group at a coffeeshop. Tomorrow we will meet the same group for a stroller work out. I’m looking forward to growing in a community here and meeting new people, otherwise it’s going to be really lonely out East.

AJ has not missed a beat. He loves running around this new house and his room is so much bigger, so its been fun to have some play time in there with him before naps and bed time. Kids really are resillient. While it is a little sad that he won’t remember the first place he lived, seeing how well he has adjusted has made things a little easier on us. It helped that he did have some new trucks waiting for him at the door when we brought him here for the first time.

All in all, I’d say we are all adjusting well and are keeping positive on this new adventure. We are looking forward to our first visitors, next month, and then on to the holidays where I’ll get my first White Christmas, ever! I’m pretty excited about that, but I’m not sure if I’m ready for months and months of white. Who knows, maybe I’ll like it more than I expect. I’m trying to keep my expectations low, so that way I’m not uber disappointed by anything. I am really looking forward to a UofM home game at some point, mostly because I want to see Harbaugh coaching again. There really is so much to do and we are looking forward to seeing it all, in time.

I’m going to do my best to keep up to date on this blog deal because it’s the best way for me to reach our family and friends back home and let them know we are alive and doing well.

Cheers to new adventures friends!

Organizational Do-Dads…

I love, I mean love, love, love organization. If it’s not organized, I cannot function. Like, I literally cannot move forward until I feel organized; it’s paralyzing. I’ve been at work before and completely stopped doing what I was doing because I needed to clean up and organize my desk space. Once clean and pretty, I can focus and move on. I have a monthly white board, a weekly white board, lots of note pads and planners. Ask my hubby how many note pads we go through. I love lists as well; like you get a list, you get a list, you get a list and you get a list! Exciting right? I love when I complete a task and I can cross it off my list. With our upcoming move, I have to share some of my favorite organizational do-dads that are keeping me up-to-date.

  1. Day Designer Planner : I’m an 80’s baby at heart. I haven’t fell into the use of my phone for lists and calendars. I love seeing things on paper. I purchased this right when I found out we were moving. This planner is amazing! It has the month page and then it breaks it down day by day, with a schedule from 6am through 8pm. How amazing is that? You can write out your whole day by the hour. You also have the space to write out a weekly gratitude, to do next week, don’t forget, today’s top 3, tonight, and a notes section. It’s a hefty planner, but I love how you can break out your day by the hour, along with all of the other features. With everything we have going on between, listing our house, movers, appointments and events, this little gem is going to come in handy through 2017 for sure.
  2. White Board : Not only do I have a monthly white board, I have a weekly white board. The monthly one I use for our house hold appointments, events and reminders. The weekly one, which used to be at my desk at work, is now used to plan our weekly dinner menus. What a life saver this has been, especially with all that is going on. I don’t have the mental capacity to think of what we are going to dine on every single day for dinner. I need to plan that on Sunday, so I can shop on Monday for our meals. This allows us to know a) who’s cooking and b) what we are having every day so we don’t have to think about it for the whole week. The hub’s is great at making the healthier meals, I’m pretty good at the fatty, not so healthy foods. I try to do as much cooking as I can so that we can eat at a decent hour, which is also the reason for the white board. We used to eat after the babe went to bed, but we’ve really tried to start eating as a family so AJ will eat what we eat. It’s been so helpful with organization, but also in getting us to make sure we aren’t having cereal for dinner every day and we have stopped eating out as much, so that’s a plus too.
  3. Label Maker : I saved the best for last. This is seriously my most favorite thing, ever! I’m big on storage bins and some times I can’t find the clear ones, so my label maker has made my life so much easier since I can now indicate what is inside the bin. Heck, even with the clear bins I’ve started labeling them just so I know exactly what is inside if I’m not able to peer in once they are all stacked up.

So there you have my top three organizational essentials. Cheers to functional, cute do-dads. What are your favorite organization items? I could always use more ideas!

Grow on Me…

Now that we’ve made it 18 months, I have a confession to make, I didn’t really like my baby when he was first born. Being a “mom” wasn’t what I expected it to be during the first three months. It wasn’t like what I saw on the IG accounts or on FB at all. I told my hubby that I thought we made a mistake having a child and I did not want more children because everything I thought it would be, wasn’t. It took time for me to like him. Now I look back and think that’s how the best relationships start. They must grow. As the months have passed and now are turning into years, the more my love for him grows. However, I wasn’t and still am not the mom that thinks I was born for this or that #momlifeisthebestlife.

Don’t get me wrong, I love my son and he has my heart, but I’m never going to be the mom who thinks it’s the best thing since sliced bread, and that’s okay. Sometimes I feel like people put on that façade so you think they’re so great, and it is; for them, if it’s the truth. I’m not ever going to be on that level with them.

When people say, “I can’t remember what I did before kids,” I think to myself, “I do.” I used to sleep until 10am, brunch with friends, ride my bike around, have dinner and drinks with friends, work out when I wanted to and strolled leisurely through Target and the mall. Now, I need to make special arrangements to do any of those things. And, that’s fine. Eventually I’ll get some me time back, just after I’m done making sure this tiny human doesn’t become a drain on society.

I’ve got to keep watering that relationship I have with my tiny human to make sure it continues to grow. The more days I spend with him, the more my heart grows and that’s the feeling I was looking for.


West > East…

So, you guys in the past six months, like I said, there has been a lot going on. A few major life changes coming our direction, in fact the complete opposite direction. The Horton’s are taking it from the West to East (technically it’s the Midwest, but we are in the Eastern time zone, so I’m calling it East). Yep, that’s right, we are moving. My hubby has accepted a position with his company in Ann Arbor, Michigan. Que the gasps! I know, the winter is going to be rough for this Cali girl, but it’s what you do to support your hubby in his career. This opportunity gives him more time with us. He will now be home every night and will no longer have to travel monthly. We are looking at this as an adventure for our little family.

We will miss our family and friends for sure and it will be an adjustment to be so far away, but to have this hubby of mine home every day is going to be a game changer for me and the little man. We are looking forward to making new friends and memories outside of the only place we’ve ever known. And, hey, I get a whole new winter wardrobe, so double cheers to that. More to come on our adventures in Michigan! Until we head out, we are busy getting our move in order, getting together with family and friends as much as we can. Soaking it all in until we jet off at the end of July.

If you’ve stumbled across this post and you’re from the Ann Arbor area, give me some tips!!


Guess Who’s Back, Back Again…

Hi Guys and Gals, remember me? MilkandMimosas. I know, I’ve been MIA for like six months. I got lost in the shuffle of everyday life, but it’s my mission to keep it going and touch base with ya’ll.

So, what’s been going on since I’ve last posted you ask? Soooo much! Let me catch ya’ll up real quick…

November ended with my little man turning a whopping ONE years old. We spent Thanksgiving and his birthday in AZ with our parents. We had a Cowboys and Indian’s themed birthday party to celebrate. We all wore bandanas and cowboy gear. Turns out he is like his momma and doesn’t care for cake. We gave him ice cream for the first time the day after he turned one and that’s where he’s also like his momma. He loves himself some ice cream and cookies.

We spent the Holidays with both sides of our family, traveling all over Nor Cal to get all our time in with everyone. We saw our parents, grandparents and for AJ his great-grandparents. It makes the driving around worth it for him to spend so much time with everyone. He didn’t quite grasp the present concept last year, so hopefully since he will be just over two, he’ll be so excited to open presents this Christmas. AJ had his first Santa photo experience, and while we got a laugh out of it, he hated seeing the man in the white beard. The hubby and I rang in the New Year with the baby asleep, watching a marathon of Fuller House with Auntie A and Moscow Mules. Yum! If you don’t like Moscow Mules, we probably aren’t friends. Just kidding, a little.

In January, my hubby set off to the Wharton School in Pennsylvania to take the exam for his CIMA (Certified Investment Management Analyst). Fancy, right? He’s kind of a big deal. He studied for what seemed like two years to get to this point and he did it. What a relief. That was a long trip, but so worth it in the end. As soon as he found out he passed, which also seemed like eternity, we booked a mommy and daddy only trip to Hawaii for April. February and March were uneventful.

The hub’s and I headed to Oahu in April and stayed at the Hilton Hawaiian Village. It was my first time away from the little guy for more than 36 hours. I cried on the drive to the airport; big alligator tears. We didn’t realize it was going to be spring break for the littles around the U.S, so it made us miss the little guy that much more because we thought about him every time we saw other kids his age, which was all day long. We kept thinking we were deadbeat parents for not bringing him because other people did it. However, we quickly realized we were on full relaxation mode, while they were not. We enjoyed a snorkel day with the Honu’s (turtles), a hike up to Diamond Head in the early morning and a little tour of the North Shore complete with my favorite activity, SUP (Stand Up Paddle boarding). Aside from that, we spent our days at the beach or pool. We ate a ton, had yummie drinks and caught up on some sleep. The weather didn’t cooperate too much while we were there, but I hate to complain about being by the pool in Hawaii.  Next time we venture to the Hawaiian Islands, it’s going to be Maui or Kauai. I always feel like a brat when I say I don’t care for Oahu much. Maybe next time, we’ll even bring the little one, if he can sit still on a plane.

We celebrated Mother’s Day in the Palm Springs area with some amazing friends and all of our babes. Nick and I celebrated three years of marriage. It seems like yesterday we were in Cancun living it up with our family and friends saying I DO. We are planning a trip to Cancun next year and I cannot wait! My little man turned 18 months old (1.5 years old), like WOAH! Where has the time gone? He’s becoming his own little person and it’s been fun having a front row seat watching his development. He’s so chatty and loves to mimic us. We’ve learned to watch ourselves around him because he picks up everything we do. Sometimes we have potty mouths around here, so we’ve had to rein that in. I can’t wait to see all the progress he’s going to make before he turns two!

Here we are and it’s June! We spent the weekend in Lake Tahoe, which is always a nice get-away. We’ve got family coming into town next week as well and our weekends are literally booked solid for the next two months. Like, seriously can I hit the pause button, because in the blink of an eye it’s going to be Christmas before we know it!

Aside from that, we’ve got a few more exciting things planned that I’ll be sharing soon!

It’s been a crazy six months to say the least.

Check out my Instagram feed for photos of the last six months. See you next time.


Whooops, I Dropped the Ball

A friend reminded me over the weekend that I haven’t posted lately and I thought I know. To be honest, I don’t like sharing about my personal life, mostly because I think no one cares. I’m not into so many photos of myself or my family either, mainly because I hate how I look half the time and because I’m paranoid by all of the creeps who are On The Line these days. I do remember why I started this though, and it’s because I felt like I had no one to relate to anymore and I wanted someone out there On The Line to find this and find comfort. Hoping to add more about our travels, what’s been going on in our lives and some of my favorite fashion picks, my own and those I’m lusting after. What do you want me to write about? I’d love to have some ideas sent my direction.

Anyhoo, it’s my goal to keep things going on this commitment I’ve made, so soon, I’ll be back up with more content. Until then, cheers!!

First Time for Everything, or Not…

Remember in the post “Delivery, I’m Not Talking Pizza” where I talked about being emotional when we wheeled AJ to our room while the hospital played the delivery lullaby? Here we dive deep into why… It’s a long one, so get cozy and maybe grab some tissue.

We just returned from our 10-day stint in Cancun. We were married there on May 16, 2014 at a beautiful resort with 40 family and friends. We came back just in time for Memorial Weekend and to attend our friend’s wedding in Napa. We were still on a high from celebrating with our family and friends in Mexico. It had not dawned on me that I could be pregnant. I just stopped taking birth control and I was under the impression it would take months to get pregnant. I just assumed that my body was getting back to “normal.”

It was June 2, 2014 when I found out I was pregnant. I remember telling my hubby and we both said, “oh shit.” We both laid in bed and stared at the ceiling for a while. I remember thinking there was no way it was possible. We told our parents almost immediately. It was important to me to wait to tell others. I wanted to wait until after the 3rd month. I often woke up in the middle of the night feeling like I wasn’t pregnant anymore. I remember calling my mom and telling her this and she would think I was silly. Finally, we let some of our family and friends know. My cousin also informed me she was expecting her second and we were due about a month apart from each other. We were so excited to be on this journey together, even though we were in different states. How fun was it going to be to touch bases on each other even more and talk about our experiences together.Nick and I bought a house in the suburbs, away from all of our friends to raise our baby in. We were well on our way to becoming real grown ups!

The hubby and I opted for the genetics testing and it was turning out just fine, until month five. I received a call after the second round of blood work letting me know my amino fetal protein (AFP) levels were higher than normal. They let me know it wasn’t so high off the chart, but that it was a little high and I needed to come in for a comprehensive ultrasound. Often, AFP results in spinabifida, a hole in the babies spine. The ultrasound found low fluid levels, but nothing else. The baby seemed to be progressing along just fine. Once that came back okay, we felt more comfortable and were so excited.

We were progressing just fine and my bump was growing. November 8, 2014 was my gender reveal baby shower. I was just 7 months into being pregnant. I was finally starting to feel excited about this new blessing we were going to bring into the world. I was excited to see my friends and family and to find out if the little nugget was a boy or girl. We cut the cake and the inside frosting was blue! We were having a boy. I remember feeling so emotional. I really wanted a boy, maybe more so than my hubby. It was a great day! After that my cousin and I had a 3D ultrasound’s. Our families and our grandma were present. It was so exciting to see our little ones on the monitor. I wanted to confirm that we were having a boy. I had heard so many horror stories about bakeries getting it wrong, this was a must to make sure it was correct. How funny would that have been though? The baby was so much more active and it was so fun to watch my belly move. It was Wednesday night, November 19, 2014. My hubby put the crib together. I just finished the Thank you cards for all the gifts from the shower. I just needed stamps before I could send them out.

We went to bed and the next day our world changed in a way we never saw coming. I was in a rush that morning and didn’t have time to do my normal kick counts before getting up, so I planned on doing them when I got to work. I got to work and around 9am I realized I hadn’t felt the baby move. I had this sick feeling in my stomach. I reached out to my hubby and a couple friends who assured me either his sleeping pattern changed or I needed to get in a different position to feel him move. I drank juice, I tried candy and eventually thought going for a walk around the store would definitely wake the baby. It was around 1pm when I decided it was time to walk over to Labor and Delivery and get checked. I was worried I was being super paranoid and going to waste everyone’s time. I left my belongings at my desk and made the short walk over to the next building (I worked at a hospital at the time) because I was convinced I would be right back. I was so nervous during that walk. I was asking the baby why he wasn’t moving and asking God to make him move so I could go back to work and stop being so paranoid.

I was admitted and the nurse came in to complete an ultrasound. She said she could see the baby. I remember hearing a very faint heart beat. The nurse said she wasn’t sure if that was my heart or the babies and that she would get a new machine because it was possible the machine was not working correctly. After the changing of the machines and a doctor coming in to complete the ultrasound, there was still no sound coming from the machine and with the deep sigh from the doctor I knew what they were about to tell me. I remember the sound of the sigh, and then she said, “I’m so sorry, there isn’t a heart beat.” She showed me the baby and where his heart was. They called in another doctor who confirmed, there was no heartbeat. There was an “I’m sorry and do you want to call someone” that followed.

My heart sank. We just had our official 7 month appointment two days before and there was a steady heartbeat. And, he had been moving around the day before. How did this happen? How was I going to tell my husband? I had informed him I was going to get checked and I never thought I would be calling him to tell him our baby’s heart stopped beating. I asked the nurse for the phone and began dialing. I couldn’t see the numbers on the phone through my tears. Once he answered I could only tell him there was no heart beat and that he needed to get to the hospital right away. During that time I also had to inform my co-worker of the outcome because I wouldn’t be returning for my belongings. She was kind enough to bring them to me and sit with me until my husband arrived. When my husband arrived I sobbed and told him how sorry I was. He didn’t understand how this happened either. I was so worried I did something to cause this to happen. I just kept apologizing over and over. I explained that I had to be admitted to deliver the baby because we were so far along. They told me I didn’t have to do it right away and that we could go home and come back. Together we decided there was no need to go home and that I would be admitted right then and there to get the process going.

There was no point delaying the inevitable. And, I didn’t want to spend any more time with a baby inside of me that would never move again. Of course it crossed my mind a million times that they were all wrong and that they made a mistake. After phone calls to our parents to let them know of the news, I was hooked up to machines and had so much blood drawn I wasn’t sure how I was still going to survive. I was filling out death certificates and filling out so much paperwork for the death of a child, my head was spinning. The doctors told me to be prepared to be in the hospital for at least 24-48 hours. Since my body had never been through labor, they told me it was going to be a long process. My parents rushed up from the Bay Area to be with us. My hubby’s parents were so torn whether they should fly in or not from Arizona. In the end, what was the point? It was best they stayed home. They induced my labor and then we began the waiting process for my body to react. Throughout the night we heard lullabies being played throughout the building for the parents who were bringing their babies home; it was heart wrenching. It wasn’t until the nurse had asked me to roll to my side to make sure I didn’t stay in one position too long, that my water broke and the contractions began. It began much quicker than anyone anticipated and my progress continued at a rapid pace as well. I suppose that was God’s way of helping us out of this agony as quick as possible.

The next morning, November 21, 2014 at 7:10am, I delivered our little boy. The room was silent and the tears flowed. The doctor hugged me and told me how brave I was. We never heard a cry, we never saw his eyes open, we never counted toes or fingers. There were going to be a lifetime of never’s for this little guy. Once they had him cleaned up and wrapped in a blanket, we were able to hold him. We took turns holding him. We cried together. My parents and a few close friends came by to check on us and say their good-byes as well. We were asked if we wanted to have photos of him. At first I didn’t want to because I didn’t want to have anything to remember such a painful time, we decided it would be a good idea. After the photos they took of him (which we have still not looked at) and all of the blood work they took from him it was 3pm. It was time to say our final good-bye to the little boy we never got to bring home. Everyone left the room and we picked him up told him how much we loved him, how much we were looking forward to meeting him, how sorry we were that this happened and then said a tearful good-bye to our first born (straight to heaven).

The nurses came in and said I had to be wheeled out in a wheelchair. I was furious. I was physically fine. There was no reason for me to be wheeled out. Mentally I was broken, but there was no physical reason for me to be wheeled out of that hospital. I was wheeled by women in labor, walking around the hospital floor, by family coming to see the newest addition to their families. I was so angry. I was ready to be home.

That first night home after we went to sleep was the hardest. I no longer had a belly to snuggle up to my hubby with. I no longer had any movement. Hearing my hubby break down was the hardest thing for me. He tried so hard to be strong for me, but he said he remembered my phone call and the events that followed so vividly. I couldn’t sleep. I now hated the sound of pure silence. I could only sleep with a TV playing in the background.

Every week for the next 6 weeks we were gathering more and more information about what happened. We also had to make it through Thanksgiving and Christmas. We had to make it through an abundance of pregnancy announcements and births. There was nothing more exciting than to have 2014 come to a close.

In the end, little man had a 1:1 Million genetic defect that was undetectable on any type of test. Our only sign was the AFP levels and the low levels of fluid surrounding the baby. All of our doctors and genetic counselors said it was the biggest fluke they have seen. They were shocked I made it as far as I did and called him a fighter.

My first experience of being pregnant and labor was ripped from me. I would no longer have a first pregnancy or delivery. How would I explain to people that I have had two deliveries, one baby? I felt guilty for saying AJ was my first. As you can imagine, I was not excited during my pregnancy with AJ. I was all nerves, all the time. I would wake up in the middle of the night to drink ice cold water for 7 months to make the baby move. I heard about two stories of late term pregnancy lost while I was six months pregnant and couldn’t contain myself. I wouldn’t let my husband tell most people because I couldn’t go through that again. I did my best to stay in hiding for my entire pregnancy. I didn’t have a baby shower, I didn’t want people talking about me being pregnant. I didn’t want anything to do with it. We left the crib set up and the door remained closed for the year. We didn’t put the finishing touches on the nursery until I was eight months pregnant with AJ. We didn’t buy any clothes until I was about eight months pregnant. This time, we didn’t find out the gender until AJ was born. We wanted to do everything the exact opposite this time. Even though we were told what happened the first time was a fluke, I was still doubtful the entire time. I spent three months being monitored twice a week to make sure things were still progressing just fine. We completed the same tests and when that five month blood work came back just fine, I was able to breathe a little better, but I still was not convinced we were out of the woods. I know if I am able to get pregnant again, I’ll have the same worry, doubt and fear as I did before and I’ll probably still want to keep it hidden. But, that’s our journey now. I still cringe when people are so excited about being pregnant, because you really never know what can happen.

I write this because in one week we celebrate the first birthday of AJ. Those two deliveries are one year and one week apart. We will never forget our first little man and we plan to tell his brother and future siblings, if we are blessed with another, all about him and how he changed the course of our lives.

Now you know why those lullabies really struck a cord with us. We finally got to take our baby home…